Music producer Benny Blanco has opened up about the intentional process he followed to find his life partner, revealing that he created a specific checklist with his therapist before he and Selena Gomez began their relationship. The 38-year-old Grammy-nominated songwriter and producer shared these insights during a recent appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, detailing the steps he took to change his approach to dating.
Blanco explained that he felt he was struggling to find the right person to spend his life with, prompting him to seek professional guidance. His therapist instructed him to document the qualities he truly desired in a partner. He emphasized that the process required significant self-honesty, noting that he established broad criteria that potential partners needed to meet before he would consider pursuing a relationship. “If it didn’t meet those first five or six things, I couldn’t even pursue it,” he remarked, joking that he avoided trivial physical requirements like specific toe lengths.
The primary requirement on his list was that a partner be “age-appropriate.” Beyond that, he sought someone who was inherently kind, caring, and compassionate. He also looked for signs of emotional maturity, specifically wanting someone who actively worked on their well-being, whether through therapy, medication, or practices like yoga. “If they were sad, they were doing something about it,” he added.
Blanco and Gomez, who went public with their romance in December 2023, announced their engagement a year later. The couple eventually married in California in September 2025. By focusing on these fundamental character traits rather than superficial details, Blanco believes he was able to find the stability he was searching for in his marriage to the actress and singer. The report also notes that benny Blanco, 38, recently appeared on The Mel Robbins Podcast, and made the revelation.
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